He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
