what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
