Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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