Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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