You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
