guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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