I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We need to get me chipped asap
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
