I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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