Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
