I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize