nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
