so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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