Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
