i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
