If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize