You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
