I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
