We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
