i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
