You really coming over, don't trick.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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