We named our party play list daddy issues
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
