my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
