i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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