everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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