She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
