what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
