11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
