1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
