I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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