well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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