11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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