Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize