Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
