Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
