4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize