Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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