sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
