It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
