But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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