He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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