You're so nebulous sometimes
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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