oh god the rape fog is back!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
