She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize