the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
