they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
