so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
false alarm. still invincible.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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