I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
