I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
