It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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