he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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