Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
