Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize