Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
