I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Randomize
