Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
