That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
