Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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