....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
