Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just tell him i said nine months
I showed him my bush... on skype.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
