just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
