the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
