I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
