Where did you get a picture of my penis
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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