perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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