This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
